I Am Dancer
by Alithea
Summary: AU setting. There is a fundamental difference between someone who dances and someone who is a dancer. Catherine is a dancer and she knows that a dancer's life is short.


**Title: I Am Dancer**  
**Rating: PG-13**  
**Characters are not mine I am just borrowing.**

A dancer's life is short one and as Catherine Bloom stalked the barren stage in her bare feet she realized that her life as a dancer was finished. It was time, and she turned and faced the empty seats of the theater, bowing to the ghostly audience. Then she took a few steps back before doing a running leap and landing, sliding into an impromptu routine that ended in a series of quick turns. She stopped in the dead center of the stage arms outstretched and eyes looking up into the empty seats of the balcony.

She grinned and bowed again, stalking off the stage and to her dressing room so she could ice her left knee and then pack up her things.

There were other things she could do. There were other ways to extend her time on stage, but those things would never really be the same as dancing for an audience. There was no way that they could be.

****

The cattle call had gone out and the sidewalk leading to the backstage entrance of the theater was filled with throngs of hopefuls. Catherine pushed passed them in the early morning hours and wandered into the empty theater, taking a seat in the back of the house where a table had been set up with a few chairs and a microphone. She was always there first on audition days.

The lights on the stage where thrown on and one of her assistants stepped out onto the stage.

"Are you ready?" The short young woman called out, nose crinkling and eyes narrowing against the lights. Her voice carried through the vacant house well and she looked up and then said, "Wanna tone down the lights a bit?"

Catherine nodded but said, "No the lights are fine. I need to see everything. I'm the only one up here. Where's Wufei and the big man?"

"The writer-director hasn't been seen, and as for the producer…" The young woman shrugged. "I think Mr. Kushrenada is occupied."

Catherine sighed. "Alright Hilde, has Trowa started?"

"Yes." She looked stage right and then said, "The first groups are ready."

"Okay. Let's get this show started. Run the first groups through the second routine and shout when you've got more."

"Right." Hilde stepped off stage and was soon followed back on stage by a group of about twenty performers.

Catherine bit her bottom lip and started to scribble out a few notes.

****

"I like the one in green," Wufei said coolly.

Catherine looked over at the director and arched an eyebrow. "For what exactly?"

"For a part." He looked down at the script in his hands and then said, "You don't?"

Catherine watched the young man in the green. She shook her head and then reached over to the microphone on the table. She hit the button and said, "Boy in the green, girl in the pink, girl in the yellow, boy in the red, boy in the black sweats, girl with white stripes."

She pushed the microphone away and watched as the dancers on stage shifted around. Those that had been called remained while the others quickly exited.

"Why the boy in the green?" Catherine asked softly. "His form is off and that lift was pathetic."

"He has a quality I'm looking for," Wufei intoned. "Where's the producer?"

"Where do you think?"

"Ah. I see."

****

Catherine pinched the bridge of her nose and then waved to Hilde to stop the music. The dancers in the rehearsal room stopped mid-step and looked at her.

"Mr. Yuy," Catherine said softly, "what was that you were doing?"

"A lift." The young man replied.

"Was it? It looked more like you were dragging about a sack of potatoes." She stepped over to him and then stepped behind him. She put her hands on his hips and said, "This is basics. Lift from here, support with your legs and stomach." She stepped back and then said, "Let's just try you and Relena."

The music began, the two dancers started and almost immediately Catherine stopped them. "Okay, Relena out, Hilde in."

Her assistant stepped over and Catherine started the music. She let out a deep breath as she watched the routine all the way through. When she reached over to click the music off she nodded.

"Yuy, partner with Dorothy. Relena you're with Maxwell."

"But-" The young woman began and then stopped when she saw the look on Catherine's face.

****

Catherine stepped out onto the empty stage. She bowed to the empty seats. Her lithe and slender arms reached up and she shut her eyes as she ran through an intense routine. She stopped and heard a low clap from off stage. She blinked and looked off to her left.

"Yuy?"

"Sorry." He said and stepped out onto the stage. "I just forgot something here and… Why aren't you still dancing?"

She shook her head. "My knee. Why did you become a dancer?"

He considered this for a moment and then said, "I don't remember doing anything else. This is my first professional show."

"I know."

"I'm terrible."

"You are," Catherine stated. "I wouldn't have even given you a shot if the director hadn't been insistent."

He nodded and then shook his head. "Was it hard…to quit?"

"Yes." She frowned and said, "Come here."

Yuy stepped forward and Catherine held out her hand. He took it.

"Act two, the slow number." Catherine said softly.

He nodded and got into position with her.

"Five, six, seven, eight…"

They danced.

****

Heero Yuy met with rave reviews from the audience. Catherine stood amid the theater patrons at intermission and listened intently to everything that was said. She shut her eyes and then stepped outside and then around to the backstage door. She moved inside and watched as the tech crew prepared things for the next act. She crossed her arms and took a seat in an out of the way spot, enjoying the chaos that was the theater, the show. She was a part of it and yet separate. Included but excluded, because at this point it was all up to the actors and the dancers. She could give notes if she needed to, but everything was pretty much finished.

The cast stepped out of the dressing rooms, talking, giggling, and shushing each other quiet. It was almost time for the rest of the show. Heero stopped mid-stride and looked over in Catherine's direction. He blinked and then nodded at her. She returned the gesture and then stood up as she heard the orchestra start to tune up. The curtain was going to rise and it was time for the cast to continue to shine.

She stepped outside and saw Wufei leaning against the wall just next to the door.

"He worked out," Wufei said softly.

"He did," she replied and then asked, "Why are you out here?"

"I'll go back in soon. What did you do to him?"

"What do you mean?"

Wufei grinned slightly and then said, "He got much better than I expected him to."

Catherine nodded and shrugged. "I switched his dancing partner."

"And?"

"And… Nothing."

Wufei nodded and then stepped passed her and into the theater. "You should watch the show too."

"I should." Catherine replied and stepped around to the front of the theater.

****

Catherine sat in the empty studio and pressed an icepack into her knee. She could have just told Hilde or Trowa what she wanted and they'd perform it perfectly, but she hated doing things halfway. She needed to feel the movements herself to be sure that they were right. There was a knock at the door and she rose, slowly, to go and open it.

"Heero?" She said as she met the young man's eyes.

"I wanted to say goodbye," he said.

"Oh. Okay." She stepped back and he entered the studio. She hobbled over to her chair and realized there wasn't a place for him to sit. So she leaned into the chair and stood.

"Are you-"

"I'm going home," he said.

Catherine didn't really know what to say to that.

"I wanted to thank you."

"Why?"

"Because you showed me that I was never really a dancer."

"But-"

Heero grinned and said quickly, "I spent my life going through the motions because it's what I've done since I was five. That doesn't make me a dancer, but you…" He grimaced. "It's not just a profession for you."

Catherine shook her head. "No, it never was. It was…it was everything."

He nodded. "I'm still young. I can find something else. I'll let you know."

"What?"

"When I find something that puts a fire in my eyes that matches the one you have when you're rehearsing, or counting off, or… surround by wannabes like me."

She blinked and nodded. "Th-thank you. Uh…"

Heero stepped forward and looked deep into her eyes. "They say a dancer's life is short, but you can't stop being what you are. You're still very much alive." He smiled and then walked to the door, letting himself out.

Catherine Bloom stood there at her chair and stared at the door when it shut. She swallowed down a well of tears that wanted to invade upon the moment. Then she sat back down in her chair and iced her knee, smiling.

End.


End file.
